The Hofstra Rape That Wasn't And A Movement Going Down An Eerily Familiar Path

I know some women really do hate other women. But I know women like me are wrongly defined in the same way because we are critical of women, including the educated women who say one thing but when no one is watching do another. That's just me. I'm tougher on black than white, women than men, and my kid than someone else's kid. Doesn't mean I don't see what the other side is doing and I'm not tough on them too. Its just easier for me to be more pissed at what my own is doing.

So here goes my post that will be seen as woman hating and insensitive.

A Hofstra student reported she was raped by five men then later recanted. And according to reports it seemed she lied but still some people totally disregard that. Are we really going to say, "Okay fine, but back to those horrible men?" like it isn't a big deal that she may have lied? I'm not piling on the young lady but lying about rape has serious repercussions. And are we willing to say such accusations should go unaddressed?

Is there always some sympathetic, sociological justification for the actions of a woman in this man's world? Because now we're going to wonder about her mental health issues and what will happen to her now. Those are valid concerns and the few people who read this blog know I value the need for black people to respect mental health. Poor mental health affects everything from career, education, motivation, self-worth and even hygiene. Hard to "do better" when your mind ain't right.

But the very ones who speak on this will not allow for the mental health discussion to arise at all when discussing men. Does anyone truly believe some of these black males don't have some serious mental health issues? Does the broken, lost cause label apply to women as well? And I love how people are saying, "Well they put themselves in that situation." Good luck saying that about a woman.

I just like to point out the inconsistencies. Sometimes I'm not black and white on my feelings either. Sometimes to be contradictory isn't hypocritical, its simply human. I have a brain but I have legs too and I like for a man to notice. And lets face it, some people are simply more deserving of empathy than others.

When the news came that she may have lied the first thing I asked was, "Will she be kicked out of school?" Many hoighty-toighty institutions of higher learning either have an honor code or, like Hofstra, are marinating on the idea of establishing one. Surely this would fall under that or a code of conduct. A person who lies about a serious violent crime on campus not only injures the accused, but the university and its residents (and in this case that includes all the women on the campus).

And the fact that there have been males who have not been punished for their bad acts on campus doesn't mean a woman should get a pass. Having said that, because I know how people think they know your heart and what you completely feel about a subject from a few hundred words on a blog, this is where I state I truly believe this young lady should be allowed to finish school and get whatever help she needs.

Women will say she's messed up in a sad, mental health way and the men are messed up in a depraved way. Men will say she's some liar and the boys were just being boys taking what was offered. But to be clear, everyone in that bathroom is messed up and in need of serious help either based on events before or after that night at Hofstra. And frankly I don't need a public come to Jesus moment from the boys, nor do I need tears but it would behoove them to sit down somewhere in a quiet reflection of how close they came to losing their lives. Keep it up boys and you will be in jail. What went down in that bathroom, one way or the other, was not normal or even appropriate. And 22 hours isn't enough time to think because they don't get it; in many ways they smeared their own names. And you certainly aren't heroes douchebags.

No one knows what happened. Whether she agreed to one thing and it went horribly wrong or she agreed to everything that happened, they are two totally different things. And though the latter would in no way justify their actions, her willingness to engage in this act doesn't fall on the shoulders of those boys. They are responsible for their willingness to engage.

Like I've said before on this blog, this black women movement is going in the same direction as the civil rights movement. Exactly the same, even if folks cant see it. Maybe there is a little distinction. The civil rights crew will defend all black men, all the time and make them a sympathetic figure. At least female celebrities, Debra Lee and poor black women are sacrificed.