Black Women Are Happier Than White Women? Where, On Real Housewives of Atlanta?

“Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” ~Maya Angelou

A study was released (we all believe in studies right?) and women are losing their happiness. The part that amazed me was that black women are happier than white women. That can't be true. That just cannot be true. Their lives are golden and frankly your lives seem to be miserable. So no, I'm not buying that black women are happier than white women or happy period for that matter.

I mean I've been hearing an awful lot that makes me wonder what the heck black women have to be happy about in this world. And they especially have no business being happier than white women. Men, black and white, love white women- worship them even. Men don't want to make them baby mamas, they want to marry them. How do I know that these things are facts? That white women aren't burdened by the child and marriage issues that black women are? Well, the statistics and numbers you're always spouting to show how screwed up your life is, how bad you have it. Boy the white woman's grass is awfully green and you'd switch places with her in a minute even though you don't know what is going on behind her closed doors.

Its always something you're not happy about even though you personally have a wonderful life (at least that's what you say...on these here Internets). You're always talking about someone else, another person's children, another person's husband, another person's boyfriend, another person's profession, another person's hair, another person's name. You've crossed the line in regards to empathy. Even if your life isn't miserable you've co-opted other people's pain and problems, thus making yourself miserable.

I say you are unhappy because you constantly think about what you don't have, what you're not, who you aren't, what you think you're supposed to be, what you don't look like, what you regret and, of course, you take on too much.

You say you don't want that strong black woman burden but lets be real, you do. You want people patting you on the back telling you how strong you are. Better be careful, they'll pat you right into a grave. You smile and beam as they tell you they couldn't do all the things you pile on yourself. They're right. They can't because they love themselves too much to tie their self-esteem to people-pleasing and never saying no. I used to be the same way. But now? Now, nothing brings me more joy sometimes than to say NO. In my best Mike Singletary voice: Can't do it. (YouTube)

And please don't say its not unhappiness, you're just fighting for black women, black people, black children, the whales. You're so miserable you don't even realize you're down right hateful at times. (Sidenote: There is always a black version of a mainstream movie: Fatal Attraction (Obsessed), Single White Female (Single Black Female), when are we getting our version of Mean Girls?)

Its not advocating. I know plenty of advocates. You sound nothing like them. Many of whom have brought about a lot more change than you. (Lets be honest. Most of you don't do anything beyond commenting on the Internet giving cyber slaps on the back to people who are doing something.)

I still care about the world. I'm informed. I'm aware. I volunteer. I'm just not miserable. Yep, I'm single. Yep, I'm raising a child alone. Yep, I'm broke and my mother just had surgery. But you know what? I'm happy. Sometimes I wake up and I'm so giddy I don't know what to do with myself. And to be honest, unlike when you took that survey, you're not all that damn happy.

I guess we're at the feather mattress stage.

Oh well, this was probably all for nothing because the study said black women lag behind black men in happiness and I know that can't be true.

Interestingly, black women tend to be happier than white females, but African-American women still lag behind black men in terms of happiness. (Philly.com)

What this study proved is that black people, for fear of being seen as weak or latching onto a "white people thing," lie about their happiness and mental state. And when you do that, there is no way you can be happy.

Links:
The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness (pdf)